Day 2+3=yippeeee

Arrest warrants! Plane crashes! Weed smoking locals and game 7 of the World Series. To say the next 2 days after the last Blog were eventful is a bit of an understatement.

Ok, so the arrest warrant is a bit exaggerated but the rest is true. A plane really did crash at Vancouver Airport and seeing as I already had a mild to serious fear of flying, I'd better practice my cross country jogging and Transatlantic swimming if I ever plan on going home.

People here remain ridiculously nice to the point that I immediately initiated a conversation with the first people I heard use the word "f**k". Thank God people swear here. I had visions of me having to go outside to a designated swearing area so as not to offend some delicate sensibilities.

A little FYI or rather for my information: these people are nuts about smoking. Never mind the fact that it is illegal to smoke weed and drink alcohol on the street, or anywhere for that matter (Ahem, NO it wasn't me). I got scolded for not standing PRECISELY 6 feet from the door with my cigarette. But, my pot smoking, beer swilling neighbourooney went un-scolded and then proceeded to inform me that smoking cigarettes is bad for you. Thanks for the memo Cheech, I'll be sure to pass that information on to the good people at High Times Magazine.

Learned something else new today. Baseball is the most boring sport known to mankind and I've watched the World Chess Championship. Having watched "A League of Their Own" some 57 times since I was young, I was expecting something a little more exciting, perhaps a sibling rivalry and would it be too much to ask for the catcher to do the splits when catching a foul ball? I guess Tom Hanks was wrong, there IS crying in Baseball, especially for the Texas Rangers.

Food wise the Canadian bacon experienced in Blog one is, thus far, the peak of culinary delights. Everything after it has been utter crap. I'm not sure if its because the bacon was so go damn amazing that nothing else could top it or maybe its just that any food that has followed is just that: Utter crap. But there's only so many places you can go on your own with a book and look cool, actually really its only in Starbucks you can do that, so I wait for Chris to join me tomorrow. I've seen at least 16 restaurants on Granville Street alone that I have to try out so I hope he's hungry.

So this is officially day 3 and I still don't want to go home. That can only be a good thing seeing as I'm meant to be here a year. Only 362 days to go.

PS: Beers with my new buddies tonight. The couple are like a younger Sonny and Cher and the other dude is my replacement Richie Gleeson but you know, Canadian. I wasn't expecting friends before a work permit (which I shoulda got at the airport upon arrival, hence potential arrest warrant), but whatever, I have to get all these things at some point, don't think the order matters. Or does it?

Over and Out.

Ok, day one in Canada. Here's what I've learned so far:

Canadian Customs officers are scary people and it IS just like that Border Patrol show. Cavity search anyone? they're free!!!

Canadian bacon is the most important new treat discovered. I want it on everything from now on, even ice cream, who am I kidding? especially ice cream. guess that's why this wonderful race of people call it "meat candy", hmmmm, candy!

They DO say "Buddy" quite a lot. It's even on Sports Centre which is, by the way, the only watch-able show in Canada. I was pleasantly surprised by that one, but I'm not your Buddy, Guy!

Ice Hockey, contrary to popular belief, is a wimps sport. Give them a hurley and a sliotar with no padding and they'd poop themselves. but, alternatively, put the Tipperary and Kilkenny Senior Hurley teams on ice and we've got ourselves a game my friends.

Something that freaked me out: Jeremy kyle took a little trip to North America and decided to impart his limited, shouty wisdom on the white trash population. If you thought the cockneys were bad, sheeeesh!

Also did you know that Dunkin' Donuts has much nicer coffee than Starbucks? Oh yea, it's true and they also do donuts now, for Dunkin' I guess.

Something trippy: It's hot here. In October. There's snow on the mountains and I'm considering a game of tennis in my short shorts. It was colder in Ireland and I feel like I'm being cheated out of some snowball fights with the overly polite natives.

Which brings me to my next point: These people are ridiculously nice. They keep calling me "Mrs Laste". Ahem, Mrs Laste is my mother's name thank you very much, now gimme more of that bacon, which I believe is one of their 5 a day.

My favourite part so far? In the Canadian version of The Globe that my nice hotel people gave me, I've found at least 6 references to South Park including my personal faves, "Buddy" and "Blame Canada". I think I've found the equivalent in Canada to us being called alcoholic Paddy's, although the difference being we're secretly proud of that moniker.

All jokes aside I think this is a good move and I'll keep anyone who's interested up to date on this thing.

Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go see if I can find a Grizzly Bear and offer it some bacon covered ice cream. "C'mere Yogi, I have a pic-a-nic basket.