I really hate douchebags that wear sun glasses when it's raining. There's no glare, you're just pretentious and weird. you're not a celebrity. you're not a bodyguard and you're certainly no Ray Charles, you mutt.
Occupy Vancouver! Protests! Students getting high! Playing crap music. Now I respect the right to protest but assaulting emergency service workers like the police and fire fighters like you're rabid dogs is just plain stupid. it's cool though. the city is seeking court ordered permission to "disassemble" their makeshift "craphole" of a "village" they've been living in the past month outside Vancouver art Gallery, basically they're gonna tear down the tents and thank god. There's a very odd aroma coming from that side of town.
Homeless people are friendlier than yuppy bar owners, go figure. I even had a nice homeless man draw my protrait for the low low price of a half eaten sandwich. And another dude who, even though he was living rough, told ME to keep my spirits high, that karma would take care of me just because I was being nice to him. Needless to say he got a whole sandwich and I got a job out of it.
I do not heart buses. I miss my car, although the thoughts of joining this race of nutjob drivers scares the bejesus out of me. these people are crazier than the Irish on Ice. It's like watching Bambi do riverdance drunk, except on ice.
Stipulations in my health insurance state that if I break my leg skiing I'm on my own, but how about snow boarding? Or tubing? Or sliding down Whistler in a wheelie bin? You have to read the fine print, but I just wanna play in the snow dag nammit. Why wont you let me play?
Back to the bus thing. I've come to really enjoy standing on buses over here, makes me feel like I'm urban surfing only if you wipe out you don't eat wave, you dive face first into a large gentleman's armpit. this we don't enjoy.
Since Chris's departure I had been thrust back into the Stone Age, technologically speaking, If stoneage men and women had to take the 16 downtown to get online that is. No laptop, millions of unread emails (I'm popular, word up) and no youtube to idly pass the time. But huzzzah I'm back on the information superhighway in a big way,. New laptop and I am telling you it is a crime how cheap crap is here. All kinds of crap. I'm seriously considering going into the bootlegging biz full time if I ever come home or if this whole social youth worker dealy doesn't work out.
Yep, I got a job and in record time too apparently. I've met a lot of people over here and 2-3 weeks is by far the fastest time I've heard for someone to get a nice place to live for a reasonable rate, find a job and make new friends. I gotta say my alter ego is having a field day with this one and I'm letting her loose on Downtown vancouver this weekend in celebration. Rock on Polly, rock on.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Canada!!!! It's not for girls!
Trick or treat? I made the rookie mistake of picking trick. And who, you might ask is playing a trick on me? Why Canada that's who. Not a bad trick though, but a familiar one. Canada is living up to pretty much all the stereotypes we Europeans would be led to believe and then some.
Also, you might be happy to learn, I finally had a meal that I thoroughly enjoyed. Well hang on, do olives with a dirty Grey Goose martini count as an entree?
Chris arrived and we tried our very best to get lost in Vancouver. You know, just to be all poetic and try to "find ourselves" again, but true to the Canadian stereotype they are just so god damn efficient we were unable. We decided instead to take a leisurely 10km stroll around the beautiful Stanley Park which I was delighted to find had 6 Starbucks on route and yes I stopped in all of them for a Grande Cappuccino.
So, buzzed on caffeine, I chased squirrels around the park, again hoping to catch a decent meal, they are speedy little critters and I discovered 2 things that are immensely disturbing:
1) It's not the damn dirty apes we need to fear taking over the planet. Oh no. Hitchcock had it right all along. It's THE CROWS. Clever Little things, stealing chips from peoples plates as they eat, cracking open mussels by banging them on the ground, swooping down, making the general population feel mildly annoyed and they're not even trying to hide it.
But this is not the most disturbing thing witnessed, no no.
2) The crows squawk with Canadian accents. I swear to God I'm convinced I heard one of them say "kawww, eh!"
To change the subject swiftly because I don't want you to think I've lost my mind, Chris thinks I might have ADHD and he could be on to something, but more to the point, I'd really love a ham and cream cheese bagel right now.
The good news bears also brought a revelation to me yesterday. There are people all over this city that talk to themselves. Not only that, they have full conversation with themselves. Now I'm not saying they're crazy, but I am. To be fair, sometimes I talk to myself but I have the common sense to do it in the privacy of my own brain. Where's the revelation you ask? well, there are plenty of services people who talk to themselves need and that's where I come in. Mam, Dad, you'll be so proud to hear, I'm going to get a job in Starbucks. For talking to yourself is thirsty business and there's money to be made.
WISH ME LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, you might be happy to learn, I finally had a meal that I thoroughly enjoyed. Well hang on, do olives with a dirty Grey Goose martini count as an entree?
Chris arrived and we tried our very best to get lost in Vancouver. You know, just to be all poetic and try to "find ourselves" again, but true to the Canadian stereotype they are just so god damn efficient we were unable. We decided instead to take a leisurely 10km stroll around the beautiful Stanley Park which I was delighted to find had 6 Starbucks on route and yes I stopped in all of them for a Grande Cappuccino.
So, buzzed on caffeine, I chased squirrels around the park, again hoping to catch a decent meal, they are speedy little critters and I discovered 2 things that are immensely disturbing:
1) It's not the damn dirty apes we need to fear taking over the planet. Oh no. Hitchcock had it right all along. It's THE CROWS. Clever Little things, stealing chips from peoples plates as they eat, cracking open mussels by banging them on the ground, swooping down, making the general population feel mildly annoyed and they're not even trying to hide it.
But this is not the most disturbing thing witnessed, no no.
2) The crows squawk with Canadian accents. I swear to God I'm convinced I heard one of them say "kawww, eh!"
To change the subject swiftly because I don't want you to think I've lost my mind, Chris thinks I might have ADHD and he could be on to something, but more to the point, I'd really love a ham and cream cheese bagel right now.
The good news bears also brought a revelation to me yesterday. There are people all over this city that talk to themselves. Not only that, they have full conversation with themselves. Now I'm not saying they're crazy, but I am. To be fair, sometimes I talk to myself but I have the common sense to do it in the privacy of my own brain. Where's the revelation you ask? well, there are plenty of services people who talk to themselves need and that's where I come in. Mam, Dad, you'll be so proud to hear, I'm going to get a job in Starbucks. For talking to yourself is thirsty business and there's money to be made.
WISH ME LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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